Thanks For Nothing

March 5th, 2008by Ken · No Comments

Highlights from a letter written by Andy Mcphail to Nick Markakis featured on Bugs and Cranks:

To: NICK MARKAKIS

From: ANDY MACPHAIL

Re: CONTRACT RENEWAL

Congratulations! We, the Baltimore Orioles, have unilaterally decided to renew your contract at the princely sum of $455,000 per anum. You’ll note that’s a $55,000 raise over last years deal. With a .300 average, 23 homeruns and 112 rbis in 2007, we feel you earned it.

Nick Markakis balances his checkbook.

You’re 24 and you’ve been a big leaguer for only two seasons. We’re thrilled to exploit a system that, nine times out of ten, screws us. For the time being, we’re screwing you. Plus, it’s vital that we keep Aubrey Huff ($8 million) and Jay Gibbons ($5.7 million) fat and happy.

PS - please mow the field at Ft. Lauderdale after today’s exhibition.