La Ruina

[Team name / Point Total / Snarky comment]

1. Franklin Comes Alive (Chris Rosen) (me!) / 148.5: As the first member of La Ruina to ever win a second league title (and back-to-back, no less), I have something to tell you. Winning never gets old. This year was a real battle. I remember writing in my Week 12 Power Rankings that my team could not win because of the staff I assembled. And that almost came true. It’s a good thing the rest of the league was pretty crappy. However, that being said, if the season lasted another 2-3 days, I’d clearly be in second. I held on for dear life with a bunch of garbage pitchers and the best offensive team I’ve ever assembled. If Justin’s team didn’t lose Carlos Lee and if he wasn’t under at almost every single position, he would have won. I don’t want to liken my 2nd championship to the St. Louis Cardinals 2006 World Series win, because my team is better, but clearly I didn’t have the best “team.” I had the best lineup. Thankfully, that was enough to win.

2. Made In The Dark (Justin) / 142.5: Poor Justin. Seasons like this don’t happen very often. He kept A-Rod, Hanley and Utley. Got lucky that Carlos Lee dropped to the 4th pick. Had a career season from Xavier Nady. Built a staff around studs like Cliff Lee, Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, Rich Harden and Mike Mussina. He had everything going for him. And he didn’t win. That’s demoralizing enough, but it has to be compounded by the fact that with a couple of more runs and hits he would have finished 1st. Justin was “this-close” to winning. On the plus side, his gag job means that I don’t have to send the trophy across the country.

3. Worst Offense Ever (Kenny) / 130.5: Kenny’s team was solid all season, but I never thought he had enough to win. The reason he even finished third was because he got a lot of mileage out of crappy wire players that turned into All-Stars and pitchers who should be trash, but weren’t. This was a good managing job, despite a disastrous final week that saw him lose 2nd place by starting pure shit off the wire. With solid keepers, he’s fine for 2009.

4. Bandera’s Mullet (Joey) / 119.5: What a snooze. Sorry, Joey. I like your team enough, but it never had a chance to win, nor did it have a chance to finish poorly. It was middling. This reminds me of an Alex squad: just good enough to not win.

5. The Worsts (Brian) / 119.5: Brian’s team proved me wrong all season. I really thought he’d finish towards the bottom of the league. But he got great contributions out of guys like Ryan Dempster and Aaron Cook. I still cannot believe the season Dempster had and I look forward to seeing which idiot takes him in 2009. Brian would have accomplished his own back-to-back finish with two fourths in a row, but he loses the ERA tiebreaker to Joey.

6. The Audacity of VORP (Crimmings) / 114: Remember when Crimmings was cocky and thought he’d win? Remember how I kept telling him his team was a pile of shit that just happened to be careering it? Remember how he still thought he could win? Whoops. 6th place. While it is an improvement from his 2007 disaster, you have to admit this finish sucks. With the team Crimmings had, he should have finished top-3. In fact, if I was managing this team, I probably would have won. Crimmings finishes 6th. That sounds about right. Crimmings, you’re doing it wrong.

7. The $3600 Suit (Alex) / 107: Another team that was riding high in April, but shot down by September. Alex’s team would have been a typical Alex endeavor (5th place), but a ton of injuries dropped him to 7th. Shocker of the year: Brad Lidge zero blown saves. Non-shocker of the year: when you follow Brandon Webb up with Jamie Moyer and Jesse Litsh, you won’t win.

8. Garbage Time Points (Kris) / 97.5: By the time Kris figured out what he was doing this year, the season was over. I like a lot of the players here, but they clearly didn’t respond well to management. Perhaps a strategical change is in order. Kris invariably sucks it up during the beginning of the season, only to turn it on late. He’s the Johan Santana of La Ruina.

9. No Drowning (Nick) / 94: Nick usually has good fantasy baseball seasons. This wasn’t one of them. While he finished strong and has some good players to keep into 2009 (as long as C.C. Sabathia’s arm doesn’t literally fall off), this has to be a disappointment. You could tell it was going to be a tough slog for Nick on draft day. When you have to keep Bobby Abreu, you’re finished.

10. Rayburn (Chris Bleak) / 70.5: Of all the managers in La Ruina, Chris has the most to prove going into 2009. Yes, he won in 2006, but back-to-back disaster seasons have me wondering if he’s up to competing again. Seriously, this team had no chance of winning from draft day. Oliver Perez and Ian Snell were Chris’ top pitchers. Ouch. At least he finished a La Ruina record 5,101 innings under. Congratulations!

11. Avoid The Clap (Tony) / 68.5: I love Tony, but he sucks at this. Two years running he’s had a terrible offense. Just a note for 2009: the picket fence offense doesn’t win you fantasy leagues. Tony had 20.5 offensive points. By comparison, I had 94.

12. Phil Hughes Express! (Chris Gottsegen) / 35: Gottsegen was never as cocky as Crimmings, but his crime was almost as bad. Sheer delusion. Somehow Gottsegen irrationally thought his team would compete. Yet on paper, it’s hard to imagine why. This will go down in history as one of the worst fantasy teams ever. How bad? Well Gottsegen finished 23 points behind Alex’s last place team from 2007. If you doubled his point total, he would have finish 11th this year, a half point behind Bleak. If you added 100 points to his total, he would have finished a distant third. By my count, there were only six players on Gottsegen’s roster that should be owned. The rest belong on the waiver wire. This is an epically bad team.